Log in

Terminal Berkeley Denizen [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Jeffrey, Jeff, or Jeffy

[ Needle Pictures Website | BlogDabbit! ]
[ My FBI file | livejournal userinfo ]
[ Memory Hole | journal archive ]

[Links:| Death Penalty Focus, End Capital Punishment! --- Amnesty International --- Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence --- Families Against Maximum Minimums --- Boycott RIAA! --- International A.N.S.W.E.R. --- Shoutcast Online Music --- German Punk, Ganz Kuhl! --- Slashdot! News for Nerds! ]

How to Talk to a Woman Who is Commanding a Space Station capable of Destroying a Planet [Aug. 31st, 2016|09:29 am]
Jeffrey, Jeff, or Jeffy
These days, many women walk around playing with a Star Destroyer or coordinates to a wormhole and are often commanding a massive intergalactic space station that is capable of destroying a planet at the same time.

Yet, that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them.

Of course, not all women are open to being approached because not all women are single and looking.

However, if a woman commanding a space station capable of destroying a planet is single and hoping to meet a boyfriend (or even a new lover), she will usually be happy to take her eyes off of the station's command center screen or leave stellar cartography to give you an opportunity to create a spark with her.

What to Do to Get Her Attention

1. Position your spaceship in front of her space station. (With 1,000 to 15,000 kilometers between you).

2. Have a confident, easy-going smile.

3. If she hasn’t already trained her station's sensors on you, simply get her attention with a static warp shell. Fluctuate your static warp shell in her direct line of station sensors or patrol ships so she can see it and say, “Hey, how’s it going?” She most likely won’t hear you say that, (In space no one can hear you say “Hey, how’s it going?”,) but it’s just a way of showing her that you’re trying to talk to her.

4. When she opens hailing frequencies and gives you her attention, smile, point to her exhaust ports and confidently ask, “Can you lower your shields for a minute?” as you lower your shields, so she fully understands what you mean.

If she doesn’t understand that you want her to briefly lower her shields, simply gesture that you want to talk to her by pointing back and forth at the numerous interstellar fighters that have undoubtedly been launched by now from the station. Say, “I want to talk to you for a minute.”

In most cases, you won’t have to go to that extreme because most women are polite, but some women are shy and will be hesitant about lowering their shields and deactivating station perimeter defenses initially.

Of course, if you notice that she doesn’t want to call off her fleet of Star Destroyers and doesn’t seem interested in talking to you at all, just respect that and try to calculate the coordinates for hyper speed without trying to talk to her any further.

5. When she opens a channel to talk to you, you might want to then do what we call “Acknowledging the Awkwardness” by quickly mentioning something about the potential awkwardness of the moment (see the conversation example below), to demonstrate you understand that a man and a woman talking to each other in this way isn’t the most common of experiences for either party.

For example, in an intergalactic corridor or near a highly localized distortion of the space-time conitinuum:

You: [Smile in a friendly, confident manner] :) Hey – I know it’s not normal for people to talk to someone commanding a space station the size of a small moon, but I was walking along and saw you and thought – wow, she’s hot, I have to come over and say hi. I’m Dan, what’s your name?

Woman: Sith Lord Jessica, Destroyer of Worlds.

You: [Add in some humor to get her smiling and create a spark between you] Cool…nice to meet you Jessica, Destroyer of Worlds. I don’t normally talk to girls with massive space stations with hundreds of thousands of storm troopers, but your big black helmet and skull emblem were just calling out to me.

Woman: [Possibly smiling or laughing or waving her hands to black clad security guards with blasters].

You: [If you’re in orbit of a class M planet or near Deep Space Nine, let her know that you have something else to do besides talk to her, so she understands that you’re not going to stand there scanning her station's defensive capabilities for 30 minutes] Anyway, I’m just out doing a bit of pergium mining at the moment. How about you?

If it’s clear that she’s interested in talking to you and has not locked onto your craft with a tractor beam, keep the conversation going and, if she’s not training the Concave Dish Composite Beam Superlaser at a hapless planet at that moment, transport over to her station and have a chat for a while before getting her sector coordinates and parting ways.
Link3 comments on tape|Tell it to the wiretap...

Smacked in the Face by Fairy Wings: What I Learned at the Tinkerbell Running Festival [May. 24th, 2016|12:03 pm]
Jeffrey, Jeff, or Jeffy
Earlier this month I ran the Tinkerbell Half Marathon. Actually I did the Pixie Dust Challenge, which was the 10K on Saturday and the half marathon on Sunday. I was going to write a regular race report, as I usually do with big races, but I'm prompted to write this instead.

I am a "regular" race runner. I run on average three marathons a year, having run my first in 2009, and I've run so many half marathons, 10Ks, and 5Ks that I've literally lost count. I save all of my race bibs, and I've run out of medal hangers, yet again.

I knew about Disney races but wasn't really prompted to try one out until my friend Maire convinced me to try one out last year, when I ran the Tinkerbell Half Marathon in 2015.

Please read the rest, It is important!Collapse )
Link6 comments on tape|Tell it to the wiretap...

The Decline and Fall of Livejournal... [Apr. 11th, 2016|01:29 pm]
Jeffrey, Jeff, or Jeffy
I hit a new livejournal milestone.

Thee LJ community runners was once a mighty and extremely active community, buzzing with posts and comments every day. Like all things Livejournal, it slowed and slowed down, until there were only a few posts a week, and comments were sparse.

Now, for the first time ever in history, I posted something to the runners community and it did not receive even one comment. I posted my last Ragnar race report and got bupkiss for comments. (It got a few comments in my own journal though.)

Sure, no comments on a post is not all that uncommon, but it's unheard of in the runners community. That is, until now.

I hear the bells. The bells tolling, in the distance! It tolls for thee, Livejournal! The darkness is spreading over this BlogLand. The end times is nigh!
Link9 comments on tape|Tell it to the wiretap...

Race Report - So Cal Ragnar 2016 - Getting Knocked Out in Irvine [Apr. 5th, 2016|07:50 am]
Jeffrey, Jeff, or Jeffy
Last weekend I ran on my friend Kiki's long-distance relay team Running C2C at the So Cal Ragnar Relay. It was my 6th ever So Cal Ragnar and my 15th Ragnar Relay.

For those of you not familiar with a Ragnar Relay: The Ragnar Relay is a long-distance relay race a la' Hood to Coast. The average team has 12 runners, and the course is around 200 miles long. Each runner runs three legs of 3 to 9 miles, and the race takes an average of 30 hours to complete. The runners get from exchange to exchange via two passeneger vans. While one van's runners are running, the other van is resting and trying to get some sleep. For more info, check out this link.

I was in van two with my intrepid Captain Kiki, (third time I've been on one of her teams,) and her friends John, (A veterinarian who happens to be the vet for Kiki's pibble Casper,) thee epic Wendi, a stalwart runner who did more than her fair share of running, (And is also a fancy semaphor flag waver,) and Angela, a soon-to-be sailor for thee US Navy! We were missing one runner who had to drop out at the last minute, so we had extra legs to cover. Such is life on the Ragnar trail!

Read the harrowing Ragnar Tale under the LJ cut!Collapse )
Link6 comments on tape|Tell it to the wiretap...

Race Report: Taking it Easy at the 2016 Los Angeles Marathon [Feb. 16th, 2016|03:07 pm]
Jeffrey, Jeff, or Jeffy
Last Sunday I ran the LA Marathon. It was my first LA Marathon and my 18th marathon overall.

I planned to run this marathon as a casual fun run. I had attempted a new PR back in December at the CIM, but an unexpected on-course injury derailed that plan. (Basically I developed a shin splint on steroids halfway through the CIM that slowed me down considerably.)

Between CIM and LA I sent most of my time recuperating and doing light runs while I healed up. Even though I had planned to take it easy on this marathon, the longest run I managed to get in between CIM and LA was a fifteen miler three weeks before race day. Light training for sure.

Many of my friends had already run LA. I heard horror stories about ninety degree weather and the infamous monsoon year when it heavily rained the entire time. It didn't help my trepidation when I received a weather alert from the LA Marathon. Turns out they were warning us about possible 80 degree heat late in the race. Meh. Not that scary if you ask me.

And I"m off! so to speak...Collapse )
Link5 comments on tape|Tell it to the wiretap...

My friend, My Wife, My Teacher... [Feb. 2nd, 2016|01:53 pm]
Jeffrey, Jeff, or Jeffy
Below is the English translation of this entry which I posted yesterday in my German Livejournal superigel.

Many have asked me "Why have you learned German?"

I have several reasons: Because I wanted to learn a foreign language, because I'm interested in German culture, especially German music. But I always answered "My first German teacher was my ex-wife."

My ex-wife was Doris Kyburz. Last Friday Doris passed away. She was not young, a few years older than me, but she was too young to die. Last week she injured her ankle and a bloot clot formed. This blood clot made its way to her heart and she had a heart attack.

German was Doris' native language. But she wasn't German. She was Swiss. That means extra German!

Doris taught me German. I have also taken classes at the Goethe Institut and also at Language Schools in Germany, but she was the best teacher I ever had. She was mostly nice, occasionally mean, but always strict. I am proud that I have learned this language. It's true that too many Americans can't speak a foreign laguage.

My life really changed because of her. My first trip to Continental Europe was my trip with her to Switzerland. No, I can't speak Swiss German. When I went to Switzerland my German was good. Not so good as it is now, but not bad. Nevertheless I could barely understand anyone. Chuchichäschtli? Wat??? But Switzerland is a beautiful counrty. Zurich and Lugano and a train through the Mountains and Doris' wonderful family. Awesome!

After our divorce I made three language trips to Germany. Two to Berlin and one to Munich. Doris and I remained friends, but I kept going with my German adventure by myself. I love Berlin. I have friends in Berlin now. And I have made friends with many new people in my German conversation group.

Everyone is impressed when I talk about Doris. She had lived in Tokyo. She was a German professor at a University. She studied martial arts. She could speak six languages. (Seven if you include Latin!)

She was not a typical woman for me. Most of the women I've gone out with had tattoos, funny looking hair, and most were some sort of artist. (Painters, dancers, musicians...) Wild and hot tempered and oftentimes besotted. (As is often the case with bohemian types.) Doris was not at all like my past girlfriends. My life as a young man was wild and chaotic, ergo so were my relationships. My relationship with Doris marked a turning point in my life.

My German is a bit rusty. I have negelected this blog. (The superigel blog that is.) I have not taken a class in a long time. But I didn't totally give up. I still have my German conversation group. We meet twice a month so I can practice my German. I still read German books and see German movies. (Berlin and Beyond Film Festival!) Maybe my German is a little strange to Native German speakers, and perhaps this entry has a few mistakes here and there. Nevertheless I keep learning German. Especially now. I will really try to improve my German. I'll do that for Doris.

Goodbye my dear Doris. Until next time, at that Language school in the sky.

I'm a better man, because you've been part of my life.

Yes, Doris was also a biker chick!
Link26 comments on tape|Tell it to the wiretap...

(no subject) [Jan. 11th, 2016|12:52 pm]
Jeffrey, Jeff, or Jeffy
I saw Bowie's Serious Moonlight tour. It was the best big concert I ever saw. And what made it extra special was not just Bowie and all of the incredible musicians he brought along with him, but the audience as well. Everyone from clueless preppy peckerwoods to incomprehensible freaks from hell and everyone in between. His influence was universal, breaking through so many cultural barriers.

Link8 comments on tape|Tell it to the wiretap...

My Review of Star Wars: The Force Awakens (SPOILERS!!) [Dec. 30th, 2015|04:02 pm]
Jeffrey, Jeff, or Jeffy
This review contains TONS OF SPOILERS and how! So don"t say I didn"t warn you!Collapse )
Link3 comments on tape|Tell it to the wiretap...

Unexpected Guest [Dec. 20th, 2015|11:35 pm]
Jeffrey, Jeff, or Jeffy
Heard a noise in the basement on a cold and raining night. Went down to invetigate. Realized that a door was left ajar, and I found a skunk curling itself up under a pile of tarps and work clothes.

The skunk looked up at me, pointing his nose at me. He did not fluff up his tail, and he didn't act aggresively.

And I just didn't have the heart to chase him outside, because it was so cold and wet ouside.

So skunk gets to sleep in the basement tonight. So sue me.

(It's also the same skunk that comes around trying to get me to feed it and let it in the house.)
Link15 comments on tape|Tell it to the wiretap...

Race Report: Not my Best Day at the California International Marathon. (But I still finished...) [Dec. 8th, 2015|09:27 am]
Jeffrey, Jeff, or Jeffy
This past Sunday I ran the California International Marathon. It was my 6th completed CIM and my 17th Marathon since 2009.

The CIM is a nice, flat and quick course from the city of Folsom to Sacramento in Northern California.

I had planned on making this marathon a possible PR attempt, especially since the CIM is a pretty easy course that I've already PR'd on twice. I carefully planned out my training schedule earlier this year, and ran the San Francisco Marathon last July as a training marathon. But things didn't turn out the way I had planned.

read on if you dare!Collapse )
Link4 comments on tape|Tell it to the wiretap...

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]